Grief morphs and so do I. In some ways I am closer to you, further in other ways. But cognizant always of the void of you. Without your civilizing presence I am more judgmental and annoying yet more kitty loving (kitties for the Win!). Our Pat died, devastating. Remember our Scotland/NorwayIceland cruise in 2018? As we were at dinner one night, I was chatting away, then you nudged me and pointed at Pat who was crying silently over her dinner plate. Wish we could have helped her more.
FALLING TO PIECES WITH JIM
| blogging love and dementia |
Saturday, March 23, 2024
Thursday, May 4, 2023
What I Would Do Differently
What I would do differently
Your world would become mine,
Truth only is perception, you would be my truth,
Reserving just enough of mine to get us by
in a place dispassionate
I would be your passion
You would be mine
Would hold you dear and close
And be your partisan always
Would embrace your truth
Your body, your being, You.
Is it too late?
Wednesday, March 8, 2023
It’s been really hard lately. Don’t know why. I am both depressed and labile. truth is I never imagined living without you and I don’t much want to. I am stuck here without you, in a fairly barren place with almost no good friends, our kind of friends, nearby. I never thought what this would be like. It’s fairly grim. But I am housed, fed, and still travel some. Health is compromised but I’m working on being better. Our last ten years were so awful, we lost sight of one another and failed love from time to time.
Thursday, February 9, 2023
No Words
I’ve always been comfortable with words — reading them, using them, writing them, speaking them. Lord knows it’s rare when I have nothing to say.
I guess I thought, for a while, I would find the woulds to express the profound wound of Jim’s death and horrendous loss of his partnership. That hasn’t happened. Now I think it may never happen.
Last year I was in Panama for Jim’s first death anniversary. I marked it but was distracted. This year I am wholly present and the devastation has only begun. Still looking for the words.
Wednesday, January 18, 2023
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