Querida mia, months since my last check in. For so long I was at bottom, bereft and devastated, wanted nothing but you. It was horrifically painful to attempt life without you and it takes so long. I struggle still, waves of flooding grief, but begin to inch forward incrementally. I never will be whole without you. But I am changed. Finding my way alone. We had been twain, the two of us, together, one half of the other, together a whole. Now I stand alone, not as fragile as I was first without you. But a different person at sea in what comes next. At least, it feels that way now. Please don’t let me slide back into that despairing grief that sent me groveling in grief.
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