Losing "Us"

I struggle daily, sometimes hourly, with what is the right thing to do for and with Jim. Because I am strong willed yet so cleaved unto him, I am torn in two (or three or more) pieces in search of the best path or response for him. Indeed, I tend to think of Jim as Him. Seriously, he is the big god in my now narrowed worldview.

Dementia gradually subtracts what makes Jim himself, and that which makes of us, us. I knew, sort of, I would be losing Jim. I did not realize "us" would fragment gradually into dust, and I would have to carry on as if we still were together in shared consciousness. I never was, nor am, prepared to lose the us of us.