It is not only about needing to spare one's partner pain but, as well, seeking to avoid the abject agony of knowing deeply you have caused, or failed to ameliorate, distress.
Then, there is the daily living which must be done every single hour of every day without fail. To do that with grace, forbearing hourly annoyances and unintended provocation, is so beyond my present abilities.
Yet, I CAN and DO learn, however slowly, to moderate my manifold untoward impulses and reactions. But, it is fair to say, living with my beloved's dementia is the greatest and most important challenge I have experienced. In the most personal possible way, it is intimately humbling and humiliating to have one's fundamental but likely untested assumptions about one's goodness exposed as more real in intent than in practice.
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