Something going on with me but I have understood only the broad parameters of it. In a nutshell, I’m smarter and less fussed, less angry. Not meant to be self-aggrandizement but statement of fact. I’m making better choices, thinking better, writing better, mentally quicker, higher functioning, and more.
Think I finally accepted the greatly debilitating power of stress and worry. Even these few months after Jim’s death, I am in so much better shape. Grieving still but not wiped out and very sad. Add improved health after correct diagnosis in December. Even Magnus likes me more. I may get around to liking myself better in time. I’m guessing the last ten years with Jim were so difficult and painful I wasn't able to see/comprehend the impact. Grateful, at least, I had the wherewithal to muddle through. Wish Jim could see me now! I wore mascara to dinner last night.
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