Thinking about our new home, Webster House. It is an upscale independent senior living residence in downtown Palo Alto. Ours is a large one-bedroom, two-bath apartment (1,100 sq ft) on the first floor with a patio. There's a lot to like and, of course, some aggravations but, over all, we're mostly copacetic about our new home in largest part because it will meet Jim's care needs as his Alzheimer's progresses.
There are 37 apartments here, all independent senior living in an ostensibly upscale environment. So, small as these places go. We're in downtown Palo Alto on Lytton Avenue which is a very busy street funneling a lot of the traffic through town. Lots of sirens at all hours of the day and night and, um, we're next door to a nursing home ... so, sirens, you know?! Only dinner is served, in the dining room, always on white tablecloths and usually gracefully. So, no breakfast, no lunch.
I'm pondering this because I've had some unsatisfactory interactions with management. It's a CCRC which means, one buys one's way in and pays rent, too, for as long ye shall be suffered to live. In our case, that amounts to a one-time fee of $700,000 to get in the door, then $6,300 a month rent for now. Rents increase about 5% each year.
[CCRC=Continuing Care Retirement Community, details here http://www.aarp.org/relationships/caregiving-resource-center/info-09-2010/ho_continuing_care_retirement_communities.html]
It's not a condo, we own nothing here. We pay rent, not condo maintenance fees. In this case none of that $700,000 reverts to our estate at death. We could have paid $1.1 million in which case 80% of that sum would roll into our estate after death. But we have no need of an estate, no kids. In exchange for this ostensibly skewed scheme, Jim and I will be cared for unto death. A bargain, right?!
We moved to our new home mid-April 2016. Thus, our tenure as of this moment is about ten months. We know about renting having lived in Manhattan for 13 years. On the other hand, we paid only deposit and rent there.
Where's the beef, you ask. I'll give you beef. Dealing with management here is a nightmare. Staff, by and large are fine enough but management has a hard on and, possibly delusions of grandeur. Interactions with the on-site director have been gratuitously negative and abrupt.
See, I think when one pays $700,000 uninheritable dollars just to get in the door followed by $6,300 monthly rent for a one-bedroom apartment -- well, then there should prevail a graceful attitude toward residents. In other words, I think they need to learn how to say "fuck you" much more nicely. You know, bow first, then tell you to get lost.
So, forgive me if I'm a little prickly about my interactions with management.
Gosh, Kat ~ I have to say I absolutely agree with you -- I have, all my life, heard of the high cost of the kind of care you describe -- to encounter the reality through your experience is mind-boggling. I completely agree with you that management should be kind, empathetic, accommodating. Even if the environment you inhabit is luxurious and beautiful (which in the photos I've seen, it does look to be), the transition you and Jim have made and are continuing to make is arduous and difficult -- and, expensive. Aside from all of that, management or not (but *especially* management), people could and should just be **kind** to each other. It could/would make all the difference. I believe that your current situation involves inherent suffering . . . amenities help, yes. But comfort and solace come more from being heard and understood. In your case, it is truly management's *job* to fulfill this function -- but more than that, it is a spiritual imperative for humans to adopt such a stance to each other, especially toward those who are obviously caught in extended moments of duress and soul challenge. I am praying for a change of heart in those who seem so lacking in openness and love at your care center after setting themselves up in positions that demand nothing less than both in abundance. Love, Maureen
ReplyDeleteKathryn, Loved the previous "spunky" post--oh may more of us be called "spunky". It reminded me of the slogan of the week, "nevertheless, she persisted"! Love to you and Jim!
ReplyDeleteOur experience with the environment that you are in now (with parents and in-laws) is that management is only concerned about the bottom line and their salary. To help life move smoother we found it best to make good relationships with the caregivers. That way if there is an issue, the caregivers will help deal with management.
ReplyDeleteFor some possible hope, have you seen this article? http://www.sciencealert.com/new-alzheimer-s-treatment-fully-restores-memory-function
You have been in my prayers, Jayte from Readerville/book balloon and Library Thing